It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
