What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
