Sponge bath it is.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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