i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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