But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
