Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
