Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize