My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
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