I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
high people should be assigned attendants
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
