i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize