jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
