one two three fourrrrnication!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
