They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
