just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
it's like iHOP with fire
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
