Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
