Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
