Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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