fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize