the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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