hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
