when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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