nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
