found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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