So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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