Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
