Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
