She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
