his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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