apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
