rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
