I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize