On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
