I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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