South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
