Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
