So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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