Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Boobs are out for the taking
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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