I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Holy sore nipples Batman
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
