Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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