Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
