Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize