My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
