well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
