Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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