She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
