I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
