You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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