and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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