he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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