the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
