Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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