whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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