I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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