Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
