there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
