i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
