tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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