Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
