yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
