It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
