I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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