I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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