If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
