I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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