I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
