We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
